How many of you can openly talk about porn or masturbation with one of your parents? Not many of you, I bet. In an Indian context, I am sure that even if one of their children were to bring up either of these ‘words’ in a chat with their parents, a large section of the parents would simply panic and scramble to hide. In more conservative homes, some parents may not even understand the truth or depth behind the issues.
Today I see a number of guys (though not all but many of them) and girls (though not all but some for sure) getting caught up in this vicious visual cycle and scaringly, the trend is on the rise.
Think about it: What is the purpose of Porn?
Let me keep it plain and simple —- To make money and create lust. Let us not reason it much beyond this.
It is no wonder that there is such a surge in incidents of rapes and sexual abuse of minors in recent years and it is alarmingly on the increase. This is sad, very sad.
Once I heard a lady sharing her story. She had raised a girl in the orphanage that she runs and during a holiday season the girl was sent back to the guardians (interesting going by the rule of the government). During her stay there, this minor girl was raped. It is sad. It is heart breaking to see that this 14 yr old had not just been raped but she conceived because of it and an abortion had to be carried out. Further, adding insult to injury the whole episode was shoved under rug. A long while later it was understood that the cousins who had harmed her were in fact deeply addicted to porn 😦
I wept when I heard this.
What wrong had this poor teen girl done to be in such a position? Shouldn’t her guardians have protected her? Does she have to face this because she is an orphan? Where is she now? What would she have gone through?
The truth is that porn keeps putting roots in you deeper and deeper. So much so that over time you surf your computer or your mobile phones or tabs, looking for harder and more outrageous stuff. The problem is, it does not stop there rather it pushes you to act out what you have seen.
Porn desensitizes you. ——— Understand this….. this is not just about wanting to watch harder material over a period of time but in fact has more to do with sexual arousal. Most viewers masturbate while watching porn or immediately after watching it, which eventually desensitizes them. Over a period of time your body gets insensitive to greater amount of porn and becomes unable to give you the hormone stings and highs you once got in an instant. Let me be very direct, and sorry for being straight. Sex thus becomes non-pleasurable, painful and ultimately unsatisfying because the person is not able to ‘finish’. I hope you get that clear and straight.
Porn makes you lazy ——— Instead of waiting and finding the right person to marry at the right age and working marriage out in real life (real sex included), porn is an easy, shortcut and instant way to get gratification. Please understand, we are not talking about satisfaction. It can never be satisfaction. Let me put this straight. You become a slave to your own degrading lustful urges. Over a period of time the man or the woman is too lazy to communicate, too lazy to grow in mutual respect, too lazy to control the urges. One becomes a lazy animal.
Porn is wrong ———- You sit in your own little room in front your own little mobile phone or tab or comp, and just indulge in lustful, fantasy imagination and one day, some day (time alone gives the answer) the fantasy pushes you to act against someone, very often precious ones that are easy preys. Guys or men better watch out to identify any such inexplicable urges and fantasies that seem to creep into your mind.
I had shared this in one of my posts a few months ago. I was sitting with this girl who was sold as a prostitute (a 23 yr old girl) and counseling her. She wept. Isn’t it ironic that if, sex selling would satisfy and make life complete and joyful, these girls would have been the most successful and satisfied personalities. Sadly the truth is just the opposite.
My Personal Story: I was first introduced to porn at 11 years of age. To begin with, it puzzled me. I became curious. I began to indulge and go deeper. I cannot even bring myself to remember my struggle with porn. I was great on the outside, but deep side, I was just a sewage gutter filled with muck.
When I was 18, I had to make the turn. Why? Because books or images and even the places where I played, could not satisfy me anymore. I wanted more. All of a sudden I began to realize that I was on a highway driving at 100 miles an hour deep into a pit. I had to put my breaks on. I needed to make a U turn.
I sought for help, began to open up and share. I needed a change in perspective, in attitude and I needed to appreciate life. Gradually, I began to see my life as precious. I began to honor God and understand His love for me. I began to invest and receive love from true relationships. Does this all happen immediately? No! No! It took almost 2 years for a full recovery to happen.
In about 1000+ words, I could only share the basics and those fundamentals. There are many other angles to this.
Hear this: Nothing positive can ever come out of porn.
Every time I see a movie (‘Taken’ is one of my favourite movies in the recent past) on sex trafficking or girls being trafficked, my heart aches. It is such girls held in bondage and slavery who are used to produce those shameful pornographic movies.
I wanted to paste an excerpt from a story of a former porn actress. I want to be careful and discreet. That is why I have taken away few words. IF you are below 18 years old, have an older brother or parents with you as you read this.
“I did ********** to start out and it was the most degrading, embarrassing, horrible thing ever. I had to shoot an interactive DVD, which takes hours and hours of shooting time, with a 104 degree fever! I was crying and wanted to leave but my agent wouldn’t let me, he said he couldn’t let me flake on it. I also did a scene where I was put with male talent that was on my ‘no list’. I wanted to please them so I did it. He stepped on me, abusing me. I freaked out and started bawling; they stopped filming and sent me home with reduced pay since they got some shot but not the whole scene.”
“I got the **** kicked out of me… most of the girls start crying because they’re hurting so bad… I couldn’t breathe. I was being hit and choked. I was really upset and they didn’t stop. They kept filming. [I asked them to turn the camera off] and they kept going.”
“People in the porn industry are numb to real life and are like zombies walking around. The abuse that goes on in this industry is completely ridiculous. The way these young ladies are treated is totally sick. I left due to the trauma I experienced even though I was there only for a short time. I hung out with a lot of people in the adult industry, everybody from contract girls to porn actresses. Everybody has the same problems. Everybody is on drugs. It’s an empty lifestyle trying to fill up a void. I became horribly addicted to heroin and crack. I overdosed at least three times, had tricks pull knives on me, have been beaten half to death…”
“Like most porn performers, I perpetuated this lie. One of my favorite things to say when asked if I liked doing a particular scene was, “I only do what I like! I wouldn’t do it if I didn’t like it!” (I would say this with a big fake smile and giggle.) What a total lie! I did what I had to do to get “work” in porn. I did what I knew would help me gain “fame” in the industry.”
Many many more stories. Did I know about all of these? No!
But today I am so glad I made that turn. My dear friend, please make that turn today. Put the brakes on and turn around, start driving in the opposite direction. You are too precious to lose your life. Be wise! Be alert! Make your choice. Make it today! God has created you in a precious unique way.
You are too precious dear!
Calling ‘Porn’ ALMOST SEX is technically at best.
Today, researchers call it the NEW DRUG!
We will talk about the ‘M’ word next week. Yes, it is indeed a very sensitive and delicate topic. But let us deal with it head on.
It is funny that when I was writing this, my 7 year old boy came around and asked, ‘What is this daddy? Porn kills love. What is Porn?” I said, ‘It is something very bad, and I will explain it later when you grow up” —- Parents if you are reading this, please do take time to talk with your children and teenagers. Have a sensitive open talk. Not that you have to open up everything. No! But start the process and please protect your kids.
Read: ————- http://www.fightthenewdrug.org —————